It's been almost a month, and finally I have attracted enough attention to be on the google. I have to say, it wouldn't be possible without you, the fans. Your 130+ views and all 6 of my followers have made me the first entry when "insomnious curmudgeon" on the google.
I really have to admit, I was afraid that my life would be a failure. I pondered upon the possibility that I would accomplish nothing before I died, but now, as I gaze upon the immortal visage of my blogger profile on the internet, I realize that none of it has gone to waste.
But don't think that this means I'm thanking you guys, I hate you all
T.I.C.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Star Wars
When I was a kid, I loved Star Wars. It was, (what do kids these days call it, ballin'? the heezey? the bees knees?) anyways, it was the coolest thing ever, even though the 90's was far past SW's prime fanfare. Nerds everywhere rejoiced in the holy scriptures that were episodes IV, V, and VI. But then, the century, and millennium, came to a close. As the new one dawned, it brought forth not a golden light, but a black hole for the world of science fiction.
Now, keep in mind that the rest of this post will be written in the hypothetical, because, as every good SW fan knows, there were only three Star Wars movies made.
In 1999 a Phantom Menaced to bring down the Star Wars empire. It brought forth a dark heresy known by the purest of fans as the unholy trilogy, but this was merely the mark of an ugly, ugly beast. Now, it wasn't really a bad movie. When it cam out, it was pretty cool. And I think most of us have to admit that Darth Maul was pretty badass (Until he got chopped in half by Obi-Wan, that was weak). But I don't think anyone really liked little Anakin. He was a prepubescent whiny little prick with gender-identity issues (he put up with being called Annie, for Pete's sake, and Annie sucks). I chalked this up to him being a dumb kid. But the thing that really killed this movie was all the useless shit that was thrown into the damn thing. No one gives a fuck about your damn Gungans, George Lucas. One more thing: Anakin building C3PO?!? Bullshit.
In 2002, the Attack continued with a Clone of the phantom. I know that all of us were anxious to see if Anakin would be less retarded as teenager...Oh, damn, guess I had to high of expectations for this rotten piece of cinema. More useless droids and bug things, and a ton of stupid-ass clones that couldn't shoot to save their lives. I think we had all killed that little part of us that hoped that the stupid toy characters would go away, but why did there have to be so many horrendous lines? Oh, and why did all the imperial Stormtroopers turn out to be Jango Fett clones? Bullshit. Jango was probably rolling in his grave when he found out that his clones were so useless with a blaster.
2005 brought the saga's revenge. I don't really have much to say about this one, except that Anakin really should have stopped being such a whiny bitch. I can honestly say that when he was rolling around, on fire, in that ridiculous and poorly thought out lava planet, that I was happy. It was hilarious. I hated Anakin so much by that point. He was a stupid, poorly fleshed out character and even moor poorly acted.
All his said, I have one thing to say to George Lucas.
STOP MAKING MOVIES ABOUT FUCKING TOYS! STAR WARS IS NOT TOY STORY IN SPACE!
If I wanted to see a poorly told rip-off in space with fancy visuals, I would watch Avatar.
T.I.C.
Now, keep in mind that the rest of this post will be written in the hypothetical, because, as every good SW fan knows, there were only three Star Wars movies made.
In 1999 a Phantom Menaced to bring down the Star Wars empire. It brought forth a dark heresy known by the purest of fans as the unholy trilogy, but this was merely the mark of an ugly, ugly beast. Now, it wasn't really a bad movie. When it cam out, it was pretty cool. And I think most of us have to admit that Darth Maul was pretty badass (Until he got chopped in half by Obi-Wan, that was weak). But I don't think anyone really liked little Anakin. He was a prepubescent whiny little prick with gender-identity issues (he put up with being called Annie, for Pete's sake, and Annie sucks). I chalked this up to him being a dumb kid. But the thing that really killed this movie was all the useless shit that was thrown into the damn thing. No one gives a fuck about your damn Gungans, George Lucas. One more thing: Anakin building C3PO?!? Bullshit.
In 2002, the Attack continued with a Clone of the phantom. I know that all of us were anxious to see if Anakin would be less retarded as teenager...Oh, damn, guess I had to high of expectations for this rotten piece of cinema. More useless droids and bug things, and a ton of stupid-ass clones that couldn't shoot to save their lives. I think we had all killed that little part of us that hoped that the stupid toy characters would go away, but why did there have to be so many horrendous lines? Oh, and why did all the imperial Stormtroopers turn out to be Jango Fett clones? Bullshit. Jango was probably rolling in his grave when he found out that his clones were so useless with a blaster.
2005 brought the saga's revenge. I don't really have much to say about this one, except that Anakin really should have stopped being such a whiny bitch. I can honestly say that when he was rolling around, on fire, in that ridiculous and poorly thought out lava planet, that I was happy. It was hilarious. I hated Anakin so much by that point. He was a stupid, poorly fleshed out character and even moor poorly acted.
All his said, I have one thing to say to George Lucas.
STOP MAKING MOVIES ABOUT FUCKING TOYS! STAR WARS IS NOT TOY STORY IN SPACE!
If I wanted to see a poorly told rip-off in space with fancy visuals, I would watch Avatar.
T.I.C.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
A Dinner With The President... Oh boy! :D
Hey guys! have you heard the news? We all get to have late night dinner (but not actually dinner, its really breakfast) with the president... FOR FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! :DThey're giving us a whole extra meal swipe! :D How generous! <3 :3
I hope all of you are excited as I am to dine in the grand hall of commons, partaking of hastily prepared half-frozen waffles. We even get to bask in the divine presence or our benevolent leader. Maybe if we're all real good, we'll get a fifth dorm option to live in as upperclassmen! :D :D And if we are all super special, we might get to do this whole thing next year!
See you all there! ;-}
I hope all of you are excited as I am to dine in the grand hall of commons, partaking of hastily prepared half-frozen waffles. We even get to bask in the divine presence or our benevolent leader. Maybe if we're all real good, we'll get a fifth dorm option to live in as upperclassmen! :D :D And if we are all super special, we might get to do this whole thing next year!
See you all there! ;-}
Thursday, December 9, 2010
In Space, no one can hear your airship get unmercifully sucked into the center of the sun.
Greetings to all 5 of my fans!
For your internet reading enjoyment, here is a review on an old Victorian-era board game called A Trip to Mars.
So without further adieu, here it is:
A Trip to Mars... How should I go about describing this game? I could create a fantastic, poetic entry about its gruesome horror, but I think its best introduced by a video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uOwVg2B79E
"Journey to Mars" by Jan Terry
1994 CD "High Risk." © JT Records
So the game is pretty tragic. Everything about the game's box (visit link) is comforting and inviting. It has a bunch of happy people, an airship, and a smiling sun. What could be more fun than a space adventure to Mars? Well, apparently, just about anything. The board (visit link) opens up to reveal not a with a happy expression, but one of sadness, horror, and torment. It's as if he is self aware that he is trapped in this awful game. Hold on, now that I've looked at the box a second time, the people aren't smiling, they are laughing! Even the box knows how bad this game is! The old lady is waving goodbye, as if she can't wait for you to crash into the sun (She must be your future mother-in-law). And the old guys are laughing, as if to say, "Haha! What dumbfuck for buying this game! Have fun loser!"
Anyways, the game has four concentric rings, and the players start on the third. Their goal, Mars, is on the fourth ring. It doesn't seem so hard to win, right? Well, if you agreed with the previous statement, you are sadly mistaken. Far too many of the spaces send you inward, and everything is done by exact count. A player could overshoot Mars and then die from falling into the Sun a few turns later. The game has far too much luck within it.
Here are the rules:
1) You start at Earth
2) You win if you get to Mars
3) You die if you hit the sun
4) Roll a dice to move
Sounds fun, right? Just a simple race game, right?
Wrong.
Here is a summary of gameplay:
Turn1: Move towards mars
Turn2: Move further towards mars
Turn3: You are only one turn away!
Turn4: Some stupid-ass ridiculous shit happens: go to the innermost ring
Damn, I guess that sucks. I was about to win.
Turn 5: Move to ring two.
Turn 6: Get sent to ring one.
Turn 7: Almost get sucked into sun, get saved by space bear.
Whew! that was close. I almost just got... sucked into the sun? I thought I had a competent airship. Oh, and why am I moving so far around everywhere? How is it possible that I go from mars to the sun in two turns? Thats like, a bunch of light years or something. This, sir, is ridiculous. Good thing that I got saved by a giant, uh, polar bear... in space? Uhh, sure. We'll just call him the magic space bear. Anyways, continue with the game:
For your internet reading enjoyment, here is a review on an old Victorian-era board game called A Trip to Mars.
So without further adieu, here it is:
A Trip to Mars... How should I go about describing this game? I could create a fantastic, poetic entry about its gruesome horror, but I think its best introduced by a video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uOwVg2B79E
"Journey to Mars" by Jan Terry
1994 CD "High Risk." © JT Records
So the game is pretty tragic. Everything about the game's box (visit link) is comforting and inviting. It has a bunch of happy people, an airship, and a smiling sun. What could be more fun than a space adventure to Mars? Well, apparently, just about anything. The board (visit link) opens up to reveal not a with a happy expression, but one of sadness, horror, and torment. It's as if he is self aware that he is trapped in this awful game. Hold on, now that I've looked at the box a second time, the people aren't smiling, they are laughing! Even the box knows how bad this game is! The old lady is waving goodbye, as if she can't wait for you to crash into the sun (She must be your future mother-in-law). And the old guys are laughing, as if to say, "Haha! What dumbfuck for buying this game! Have fun loser!"
Anyways, the game has four concentric rings, and the players start on the third. Their goal, Mars, is on the fourth ring. It doesn't seem so hard to win, right? Well, if you agreed with the previous statement, you are sadly mistaken. Far too many of the spaces send you inward, and everything is done by exact count. A player could overshoot Mars and then die from falling into the Sun a few turns later. The game has far too much luck within it.
Here are the rules:
1) You start at Earth
2) You win if you get to Mars
3) You die if you hit the sun
4) Roll a dice to move
Sounds fun, right? Just a simple race game, right?
Wrong.
Here is a summary of gameplay:
Turn1: Move towards mars
Turn2: Move further towards mars
Turn3: You are only one turn away!
Turn4: Some stupid-ass ridiculous shit happens: go to the innermost ring
Damn, I guess that sucks. I was about to win.
Turn 5: Move to ring two.
Turn 6: Get sent to ring one.
Turn 7: Almost get sucked into sun, get saved by space bear.
Whew! that was close. I almost just got... sucked into the sun? I thought I had a competent airship. Oh, and why am I moving so far around everywhere? How is it possible that I go from mars to the sun in two turns? Thats like, a bunch of light years or something. This, sir, is ridiculous. Good thing that I got saved by a giant, uh, polar bear... in space? Uhh, sure. We'll just call him the magic space bear. Anyways, continue with the game:
Turn 5: Move to ring two.
Turn 6: Get sent to ring one.
Turn 7: Almost get sucked into sun, get saved by space bear.
Turn 8: Move to ring two.
Turn 11: Get sent to ring one.
Turn 12: Almost get sucked into sun, get saved by space bear.
Turn 14: Move to ring two.
Turn 17: Get sent to ring one.
Turn 18: Almost get sucked into sun, get saved by space bear.
Turn 19: Move to ring two.
Turn 20: Get sent to ring one.
Turn 22: Almost get sucked into sun, get saved by space bear.
Turn 25: Move to ring two.
Turn 28: Move to ring three.
HOORRAAAYY!! I have finally made progress!!!!^_^
Turn 19: Get sent to ring one.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Turn 45: Someone wins game. At this point no one really cares.
You might think I'm exaggerating on this game, but the sad thing is, I'm not. This game is awful. It took a group of four of us around an hour to finish it. One of the neighboring airships decided that he just couldn't take it anymore and he flew his ship straight into the sun.
The board is small. The main problem here is that all the squares that send you back are positioned just so that your are most probable to hit them coming back from a square that sends you forward a ring. Oh, and one thing that I didn't convey well. Two of the rings, including the sun ring, only have one square that takes you to the next ring. This means that if you miss the that square, you have to spend several turns moving all the way around just to hopefully hit that again. This game is just so awful. There is no reason or rational at all to justify this games pitiful existence. If you ever find this game in a store, I beg of you, please, buy it and burn it. Some things should just never have existed on Earth in the first place, and Trip to Mars is one of them.
The board is small. The main problem here is that all the squares that send you back are positioned just so that your are most probable to hit them coming back from a square that sends you forward a ring. Oh, and one thing that I didn't convey well. Two of the rings, including the sun ring, only have one square that takes you to the next ring. This means that if you miss the that square, you have to spend several turns moving all the way around just to hopefully hit that again. This game is just so awful. There is no reason or rational at all to justify this games pitiful existence. If you ever find this game in a store, I beg of you, please, buy it and burn it. Some things should just never have existed on Earth in the first place, and Trip to Mars is one of them.
T.I.C.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
You can has blogburger
Sometimes I wonder about the futility of writing a blog. I mean, mere polysyllabic constructs of society cannot contain my awesomeness. However, in my feeble schema of reality, this blog is immaculate.
But lucky you! You get to enjoy the 8 oz. of perfectly grilled and seasoned meat that is my blogburger. Fuck that, I should be serving you guys LOLCatburger. But that's a different story for another time.
Mmm.... Delicious. I'm giving that waiter a tip.
But lucky you! You get to enjoy the 8 oz. of perfectly grilled and seasoned meat that is my blogburger. Fuck that, I should be serving you guys LOLCatburger. But that's a different story for another time.
Mmm.... Delicious. I'm giving that waiter a tip.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Yes, it is a real word.
Ladies and gentlefrogs, let me bring you to my world.
I am the insomnious curmudgeon. Yes, insomnious is a real word, despite google chrome's shoddy knowledge of the English Language, it is, indeed, the adjective form of insomnia, or thesaurus.com be damned! Anyways, even if it's not a word, I don't really even give a flying chocobo about it. It sounds cool and if you don't like it, well then fuck you. I probably wouldn't like you anyways. Which brings to mind a favorite saying of mine: Although one man may not like people who talk to themselves, people who talk to themselves don't like people who don't like people who talk to themselves. Like that one? A made it up. Don't like it? Well... read the saying again and if you're a bright, you met get the picture.
So anyways, let me rebring you to my world. My self appointed title is a bit deceiving. I'm not really a curmudgeon (not old enough... yet). I am a college student, but no, I do not like to party. I do not like to drink in excess, I do not like recreational drugs, I most certainly do not like loud music (except for the occasional Metallica or Left Rights), and I suffer from tinnitus. The insomniac part is only mostly true, as it is common for me to not go to be bed until 2AM, although this might correct itself as the curmudgeon part becomes more accurate.
If you happen to have stumbled across this blog by accident, kudos to you (No, not Jimmy Kudo) for knowing such fancy words like Insomnious and Curmudgeon. If you don't know them, then go look them up in a dictionary or something... or don't... it's your decision. I may not agree with you, but I will die fully supporting those who die to fight for your right to believe it.
If you are one of my friends and I told you to come here and comment or follow me, then good job acquiescing my shameless self promotion.
If you are one of my friends and I told you to come here and comment or follow me, then good job acquiescing my shameless self promotion.
T.I.C.
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