So I know all four of my fans out there are extremely grief-stricken with my recent absence of blog postings, but grieve no more! For this is a new post, if you haven't figured that out already (I know, I know, you really should already know that, but with some of you people, I wonder...).
Anyways, the reason for my web-hiatus is due to my duties as both a student and employee. Now I tend to stray away from such droning idiocies such as my personal life, but the time has come, nevertheless. I have been working with a certain company to develop a certain product that will cause kraken size tidal waves that will not only shake your bowel full of doubt and remorse, but it will also radically and fundamentally change the way that the modern man perceives the world around him.
I'm talking about science, people. Computer Science, specifically. Yes, that was a fragment, but this is so important that I am forced to ignore the rules of grammar. On the internet. Now what exactly could cause such astounding reactions? Well, only the best thing ever, at least my best thing ever. Video Games. And if you don't agree with me, then you should, or else you just aren't a very nice person.And no one likes a not very nice person. Just think about it; You will disagree with me, become a not very nice person, be gradually unliked by your friends, become a pariah, hated by your landlord/lady/bank, lose your home, and live in a soggy cardboard box by the subway, with only other not very nice people who disagree with me as your friends, but they won't be your friends, because they are not very nice people.
I digress... If you were able to gleam the fact that I am helping to design a new videogame out of that horribly congealed mess of a paragraph, well then two pats on the back for you. And as a reward, I will provide you with a much coveted screenshot!
(Here)
Haha, just kidding there. I don't have that kind of authority, I'd probably get blacklisted or something. But I can tell you that it is called TIC, published and Developed by Red Candy Games, and it will be super, super awesome.
And, if you want to support my cause (And I should, I know where like half the readers of this blog live), then join the facbook pages.
Red Candy Games Facebook Page
TIC Facebook Page
As always,
T.I.C. (No relation to TIC)
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Time
So here is something that has been bothering me. Our conventions of time. I mean, our whole system of recording it is totally absurd. So first, you have a second. Nevermind the fact that a second is defined as "the duration of 9,192,631,770 periods of the radiation corresponding to the transition between the two hyperfine levels of the ground state of the caesium 133 atom", I mean, that is an extrememly arbitrary and stupid definition for which the entire construct of Amtrak is based on, no wonder they can never stick to their schedules. Next you have 60 seconds in a minute and 60 minutes in an hour, although I don't know why we're basing time off of geometry now, although I guess I can kind of put up with that, but here is where it just becomes nonsensical. 24 Hours = 1 Day? Seriously time committee, now you are just grasping at straws. Finally, why in the world did we decide to use miliseconds? We are not Europe, we don't use metrics. This is America dammit! Wouldn't it make more sense to use 1/9,192,631,770 CS131 radiation periods? That is the actual fraction of a second, after all.
My solution:
Although I just dumped on the metric system, I think its the best solution. It would go like this:
Milisecond: 1/1000'th of a second
Second: Same foolish unit
Minute: 1000 seconds
Hour: 1000 minutes
Day: 1000 hours
Now doesn't that make so much more sense?
My solution:
Although I just dumped on the metric system, I think its the best solution. It would go like this:
Milisecond: 1/1000'th of a second
Second: Same foolish unit
Minute: 1000 seconds
Hour: 1000 minutes
Day: 1000 hours
Now doesn't that make so much more sense?
Thursday, December 23, 2010
I'm on the Google!
It's been almost a month, and finally I have attracted enough attention to be on the google. I have to say, it wouldn't be possible without you, the fans. Your 130+ views and all 6 of my followers have made me the first entry when "insomnious curmudgeon" on the google.
I really have to admit, I was afraid that my life would be a failure. I pondered upon the possibility that I would accomplish nothing before I died, but now, as I gaze upon the immortal visage of my blogger profile on the internet, I realize that none of it has gone to waste.
But don't think that this means I'm thanking you guys, I hate you all
T.I.C.
I really have to admit, I was afraid that my life would be a failure. I pondered upon the possibility that I would accomplish nothing before I died, but now, as I gaze upon the immortal visage of my blogger profile on the internet, I realize that none of it has gone to waste.
But don't think that this means I'm thanking you guys, I hate you all
T.I.C.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Star Wars
When I was a kid, I loved Star Wars. It was, (what do kids these days call it, ballin'? the heezey? the bees knees?) anyways, it was the coolest thing ever, even though the 90's was far past SW's prime fanfare. Nerds everywhere rejoiced in the holy scriptures that were episodes IV, V, and VI. But then, the century, and millennium, came to a close. As the new one dawned, it brought forth not a golden light, but a black hole for the world of science fiction.
Now, keep in mind that the rest of this post will be written in the hypothetical, because, as every good SW fan knows, there were only three Star Wars movies made.
In 1999 a Phantom Menaced to bring down the Star Wars empire. It brought forth a dark heresy known by the purest of fans as the unholy trilogy, but this was merely the mark of an ugly, ugly beast. Now, it wasn't really a bad movie. When it cam out, it was pretty cool. And I think most of us have to admit that Darth Maul was pretty badass (Until he got chopped in half by Obi-Wan, that was weak). But I don't think anyone really liked little Anakin. He was a prepubescent whiny little prick with gender-identity issues (he put up with being called Annie, for Pete's sake, and Annie sucks). I chalked this up to him being a dumb kid. But the thing that really killed this movie was all the useless shit that was thrown into the damn thing. No one gives a fuck about your damn Gungans, George Lucas. One more thing: Anakin building C3PO?!? Bullshit.
In 2002, the Attack continued with a Clone of the phantom. I know that all of us were anxious to see if Anakin would be less retarded as teenager...Oh, damn, guess I had to high of expectations for this rotten piece of cinema. More useless droids and bug things, and a ton of stupid-ass clones that couldn't shoot to save their lives. I think we had all killed that little part of us that hoped that the stupid toy characters would go away, but why did there have to be so many horrendous lines? Oh, and why did all the imperial Stormtroopers turn out to be Jango Fett clones? Bullshit. Jango was probably rolling in his grave when he found out that his clones were so useless with a blaster.
2005 brought the saga's revenge. I don't really have much to say about this one, except that Anakin really should have stopped being such a whiny bitch. I can honestly say that when he was rolling around, on fire, in that ridiculous and poorly thought out lava planet, that I was happy. It was hilarious. I hated Anakin so much by that point. He was a stupid, poorly fleshed out character and even moor poorly acted.
All his said, I have one thing to say to George Lucas.
STOP MAKING MOVIES ABOUT FUCKING TOYS! STAR WARS IS NOT TOY STORY IN SPACE!
If I wanted to see a poorly told rip-off in space with fancy visuals, I would watch Avatar.
T.I.C.
Now, keep in mind that the rest of this post will be written in the hypothetical, because, as every good SW fan knows, there were only three Star Wars movies made.
In 1999 a Phantom Menaced to bring down the Star Wars empire. It brought forth a dark heresy known by the purest of fans as the unholy trilogy, but this was merely the mark of an ugly, ugly beast. Now, it wasn't really a bad movie. When it cam out, it was pretty cool. And I think most of us have to admit that Darth Maul was pretty badass (Until he got chopped in half by Obi-Wan, that was weak). But I don't think anyone really liked little Anakin. He was a prepubescent whiny little prick with gender-identity issues (he put up with being called Annie, for Pete's sake, and Annie sucks). I chalked this up to him being a dumb kid. But the thing that really killed this movie was all the useless shit that was thrown into the damn thing. No one gives a fuck about your damn Gungans, George Lucas. One more thing: Anakin building C3PO?!? Bullshit.
In 2002, the Attack continued with a Clone of the phantom. I know that all of us were anxious to see if Anakin would be less retarded as teenager...Oh, damn, guess I had to high of expectations for this rotten piece of cinema. More useless droids and bug things, and a ton of stupid-ass clones that couldn't shoot to save their lives. I think we had all killed that little part of us that hoped that the stupid toy characters would go away, but why did there have to be so many horrendous lines? Oh, and why did all the imperial Stormtroopers turn out to be Jango Fett clones? Bullshit. Jango was probably rolling in his grave when he found out that his clones were so useless with a blaster.
2005 brought the saga's revenge. I don't really have much to say about this one, except that Anakin really should have stopped being such a whiny bitch. I can honestly say that when he was rolling around, on fire, in that ridiculous and poorly thought out lava planet, that I was happy. It was hilarious. I hated Anakin so much by that point. He was a stupid, poorly fleshed out character and even moor poorly acted.
All his said, I have one thing to say to George Lucas.
STOP MAKING MOVIES ABOUT FUCKING TOYS! STAR WARS IS NOT TOY STORY IN SPACE!
If I wanted to see a poorly told rip-off in space with fancy visuals, I would watch Avatar.
T.I.C.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
A Dinner With The President... Oh boy! :D
Hey guys! have you heard the news? We all get to have late night dinner (but not actually dinner, its really breakfast) with the president... FOR FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! :DThey're giving us a whole extra meal swipe! :D How generous! <3 :3
I hope all of you are excited as I am to dine in the grand hall of commons, partaking of hastily prepared half-frozen waffles. We even get to bask in the divine presence or our benevolent leader. Maybe if we're all real good, we'll get a fifth dorm option to live in as upperclassmen! :D :D And if we are all super special, we might get to do this whole thing next year!
See you all there! ;-}
I hope all of you are excited as I am to dine in the grand hall of commons, partaking of hastily prepared half-frozen waffles. We even get to bask in the divine presence or our benevolent leader. Maybe if we're all real good, we'll get a fifth dorm option to live in as upperclassmen! :D :D And if we are all super special, we might get to do this whole thing next year!
See you all there! ;-}
Thursday, December 9, 2010
In Space, no one can hear your airship get unmercifully sucked into the center of the sun.
Greetings to all 5 of my fans!
For your internet reading enjoyment, here is a review on an old Victorian-era board game called A Trip to Mars.
So without further adieu, here it is:
A Trip to Mars... How should I go about describing this game? I could create a fantastic, poetic entry about its gruesome horror, but I think its best introduced by a video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uOwVg2B79E
"Journey to Mars" by Jan Terry
1994 CD "High Risk." © JT Records
So the game is pretty tragic. Everything about the game's box (visit link) is comforting and inviting. It has a bunch of happy people, an airship, and a smiling sun. What could be more fun than a space adventure to Mars? Well, apparently, just about anything. The board (visit link) opens up to reveal not a with a happy expression, but one of sadness, horror, and torment. It's as if he is self aware that he is trapped in this awful game. Hold on, now that I've looked at the box a second time, the people aren't smiling, they are laughing! Even the box knows how bad this game is! The old lady is waving goodbye, as if she can't wait for you to crash into the sun (She must be your future mother-in-law). And the old guys are laughing, as if to say, "Haha! What dumbfuck for buying this game! Have fun loser!"
Anyways, the game has four concentric rings, and the players start on the third. Their goal, Mars, is on the fourth ring. It doesn't seem so hard to win, right? Well, if you agreed with the previous statement, you are sadly mistaken. Far too many of the spaces send you inward, and everything is done by exact count. A player could overshoot Mars and then die from falling into the Sun a few turns later. The game has far too much luck within it.
Here are the rules:
1) You start at Earth
2) You win if you get to Mars
3) You die if you hit the sun
4) Roll a dice to move
Sounds fun, right? Just a simple race game, right?
Wrong.
Here is a summary of gameplay:
Turn1: Move towards mars
Turn2: Move further towards mars
Turn3: You are only one turn away!
Turn4: Some stupid-ass ridiculous shit happens: go to the innermost ring
Damn, I guess that sucks. I was about to win.
Turn 5: Move to ring two.
Turn 6: Get sent to ring one.
Turn 7: Almost get sucked into sun, get saved by space bear.
Whew! that was close. I almost just got... sucked into the sun? I thought I had a competent airship. Oh, and why am I moving so far around everywhere? How is it possible that I go from mars to the sun in two turns? Thats like, a bunch of light years or something. This, sir, is ridiculous. Good thing that I got saved by a giant, uh, polar bear... in space? Uhh, sure. We'll just call him the magic space bear. Anyways, continue with the game:
For your internet reading enjoyment, here is a review on an old Victorian-era board game called A Trip to Mars.
So without further adieu, here it is:
A Trip to Mars... How should I go about describing this game? I could create a fantastic, poetic entry about its gruesome horror, but I think its best introduced by a video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uOwVg2B79E
"Journey to Mars" by Jan Terry
1994 CD "High Risk." © JT Records
So the game is pretty tragic. Everything about the game's box (visit link) is comforting and inviting. It has a bunch of happy people, an airship, and a smiling sun. What could be more fun than a space adventure to Mars? Well, apparently, just about anything. The board (visit link) opens up to reveal not a with a happy expression, but one of sadness, horror, and torment. It's as if he is self aware that he is trapped in this awful game. Hold on, now that I've looked at the box a second time, the people aren't smiling, they are laughing! Even the box knows how bad this game is! The old lady is waving goodbye, as if she can't wait for you to crash into the sun (She must be your future mother-in-law). And the old guys are laughing, as if to say, "Haha! What dumbfuck for buying this game! Have fun loser!"
Anyways, the game has four concentric rings, and the players start on the third. Their goal, Mars, is on the fourth ring. It doesn't seem so hard to win, right? Well, if you agreed with the previous statement, you are sadly mistaken. Far too many of the spaces send you inward, and everything is done by exact count. A player could overshoot Mars and then die from falling into the Sun a few turns later. The game has far too much luck within it.
Here are the rules:
1) You start at Earth
2) You win if you get to Mars
3) You die if you hit the sun
4) Roll a dice to move
Sounds fun, right? Just a simple race game, right?
Wrong.
Here is a summary of gameplay:
Turn1: Move towards mars
Turn2: Move further towards mars
Turn3: You are only one turn away!
Turn4: Some stupid-ass ridiculous shit happens: go to the innermost ring
Damn, I guess that sucks. I was about to win.
Turn 5: Move to ring two.
Turn 6: Get sent to ring one.
Turn 7: Almost get sucked into sun, get saved by space bear.
Whew! that was close. I almost just got... sucked into the sun? I thought I had a competent airship. Oh, and why am I moving so far around everywhere? How is it possible that I go from mars to the sun in two turns? Thats like, a bunch of light years or something. This, sir, is ridiculous. Good thing that I got saved by a giant, uh, polar bear... in space? Uhh, sure. We'll just call him the magic space bear. Anyways, continue with the game:
Turn 5: Move to ring two.
Turn 6: Get sent to ring one.
Turn 7: Almost get sucked into sun, get saved by space bear.
Turn 8: Move to ring two.
Turn 11: Get sent to ring one.
Turn 12: Almost get sucked into sun, get saved by space bear.
Turn 14: Move to ring two.
Turn 17: Get sent to ring one.
Turn 18: Almost get sucked into sun, get saved by space bear.
Turn 19: Move to ring two.
Turn 20: Get sent to ring one.
Turn 22: Almost get sucked into sun, get saved by space bear.
Turn 25: Move to ring two.
Turn 28: Move to ring three.
HOORRAAAYY!! I have finally made progress!!!!^_^
Turn 19: Get sent to ring one.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Turn 45: Someone wins game. At this point no one really cares.
You might think I'm exaggerating on this game, but the sad thing is, I'm not. This game is awful. It took a group of four of us around an hour to finish it. One of the neighboring airships decided that he just couldn't take it anymore and he flew his ship straight into the sun.
The board is small. The main problem here is that all the squares that send you back are positioned just so that your are most probable to hit them coming back from a square that sends you forward a ring. Oh, and one thing that I didn't convey well. Two of the rings, including the sun ring, only have one square that takes you to the next ring. This means that if you miss the that square, you have to spend several turns moving all the way around just to hopefully hit that again. This game is just so awful. There is no reason or rational at all to justify this games pitiful existence. If you ever find this game in a store, I beg of you, please, buy it and burn it. Some things should just never have existed on Earth in the first place, and Trip to Mars is one of them.
The board is small. The main problem here is that all the squares that send you back are positioned just so that your are most probable to hit them coming back from a square that sends you forward a ring. Oh, and one thing that I didn't convey well. Two of the rings, including the sun ring, only have one square that takes you to the next ring. This means that if you miss the that square, you have to spend several turns moving all the way around just to hopefully hit that again. This game is just so awful. There is no reason or rational at all to justify this games pitiful existence. If you ever find this game in a store, I beg of you, please, buy it and burn it. Some things should just never have existed on Earth in the first place, and Trip to Mars is one of them.
T.I.C.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
You can has blogburger
Sometimes I wonder about the futility of writing a blog. I mean, mere polysyllabic constructs of society cannot contain my awesomeness. However, in my feeble schema of reality, this blog is immaculate.
But lucky you! You get to enjoy the 8 oz. of perfectly grilled and seasoned meat that is my blogburger. Fuck that, I should be serving you guys LOLCatburger. But that's a different story for another time.
Mmm.... Delicious. I'm giving that waiter a tip.
But lucky you! You get to enjoy the 8 oz. of perfectly grilled and seasoned meat that is my blogburger. Fuck that, I should be serving you guys LOLCatburger. But that's a different story for another time.
Mmm.... Delicious. I'm giving that waiter a tip.
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